2015

2014 has been claimed by time and we’ve all been rolled into the new year. I found a lot of last year very challenging. Without sounding too abstract it was a time where I began to question my own identity and path in life. Who am I and what do I want to achieve?

2015 is going to be a huge year for me. I’m graduating from University in July and the question that is constantly running through my consciousness is “where am I going next?” Although I’m aware that everyone goes through transitional phases in life, it’s a thought that absolutely terrifies me. 

When I was a little girl I’d picture myself at 21. I’d be carefree but put-together, having made steady progress towards my path in life. I’d see myself at 25 with a solid career, settled down with a nice man in our own little house.

Now as the days slip past me and I approach my 21st birthday, the naivety of my childhood aspirations is exposed. Where the majority of my peers seem to have an idea of what they want to do, I have no idea how I even want to spend my Summer. I have no real urge to travel or occupy my time in any particular means, but am aware that I need some time to get myself together a bit before being thrown into the big wide world of work and reality. 

The only tenable aspiration in my mind is that I want to be happy. Although I am quite a self-critical, competitive and driven person, I am happy not to be a high-earner, inspirational character or highly successful business woman. Instead, all I ask for is that I do something I enjoy and do it well (and earn enough to live a stable life).

Right now this vague endeavour seems remote. I don’t want my 2015 resolution to be pressurising or constrictive. Instead of striving for academic excellence or the best first ‘real’ job in my desired field, I want to develop myself more as a person. The thought of drifting in the vast and unknown depths of life is overwhelming, but I want to view it as an exciting opportunity.

When you’re approaching 21 you still have plenty of time to make your mark on the world. 

This year I want to try more things. I want to take up more hobbies. I want to meet new people. I want to do more things that make me happy and acquire some new skills. Hopefully doing this will help me to grasp a sense of my identity and what the next path in life should be – and if it doesn’t, at least I will be making the most of my time and enjoying myself.

I’m aware that I don’t usually write posts that have much feeling or deep meaning, but getting my thoughts out sometimes is very cathartic. Be sure to leave a comment below if you were able to glean anything from this jumbled stream of consciousness. I’d love to hear your stories about how you decided what you want to do, or simply how you get to the stage where you can accept the ungraspable and indiscernable nature of life.

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15 thoughts on “2015

  1. Hi Soph, I graduated from college recently and I agree that it was pretty scary trying to decide then “what I wanted to do with my life”. A lot of my friends seemed to have had it all figured out, but the truth is everyone is secretly a little scared and confused about that next step. But what you do at 21 doesn’t have to be what you do when you are 31, or 41. People change, and your aspirations can change too. Just try new things, get to know yourself, and make a career out of what you like to do. Life is short and being happy is what is most important.

  2. I pretty much posted the same thing a few days ago being 31 and still not knowing where my life was taking me. I always thought things would be different but nothing ever turns out the way you’d expect. I have been struggling to find the one thing I think I can do for the rest of my life and that is tough. Good luck to you in 2015 on this journey! Hopefully everything falls into place for you 🙂

  3. I think it is all too easy to forget about being ‘happy’. Remembering to do things to make yourself happy and not to make other people happy is something that I finally started doing late 2014. At the same time, don’t be too hard on yourself! 🙂 x

  4. I feel the exact same as you about just wanting to be happy in life. I have no idea what field or industry i want to work in – I just know that I’d rather have a job that I enjoy than one that makes me rich or is really prestigious.
    Which is tough because I don’t know what to study or what kind of job I should get while I’m not at school. Right now my approach is to just do things that make me happy right now, and hopefully that’ll lead me to finding something that will make me happy in the future.

    1. Such a good philosophy to have! Hopefully following what makes you happy will lead to something amazing. I wish you the best of luck and thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a comment 🙂 xx

    1. I have decided 2015 will be the year I accept and forgive myself. Not everyone knows what they want to do and that’s OK! If you pursue your interests and what makes you happy you will find your way! I wish you luck x

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